Free Soul

Wonder..

2009-12-06T03:20:00.000-08:00

I wonder why I have not been updating my blog.
Maybe my brain is dying.
Maybe I can't think of anything to write.
Or maybe I'm just too lazy!
Aha! I'll go with the final one..

Challenge

2009-10-11T02:42:00.000-07:00

Life is a challenge,
It can be difficult at times,
Or it is always difficult,
I have to be strong to accept changes,
I must be willing to transform,
But living in this place,
Is a great big challenge for me,
Everything is new,
The people, the environment, the life here,
Is different and unique,
God, please guide me through,
I need Your guidance and support.

Beautiful Portsmouth!

2009-09-26T06:08:00.000-07:00

Portsmouth is just lovely and the people over here are so warm. People over here are polite, friendly and sensitive. I like the nurse in the Nuffield Surgery. She is just soooo nice.. I'm beginning to like this place and the people in Portsmouth.

Happy

2009-08-11T17:08:00.000-07:00

I'm so glad that the visa is almost done now. Thank God. But the journey back home was very tiring. For one moment, I almost told myself not to board the train anymore. The train was cancelled twice, they changed the platform, and I was pushed to the side by the "bigger" adults. I know that everyone is rushing to go back and everyone wants a place in the bus. But some were barbaric by pushing the children and the disabled. There was no announcement being made on the train, so I had to ask people when they get down, "excuse me, may I know which station is this?" Some were very nice to answer politely. I met two mute boys on the train who were struggling. Firstly, their hearing aids fell off due to the pushing and grabbing and shoving. Secondly, they don't know which station is which because there were no announcements being made. After communicating with each other in sign language, one of the boys, patted my shoulder and I turned. He texted and showed me his mobile phone, "sorry, tapi boleh saya tahu ini station apa?" I took out mine and texted "ini station Petaling kalau tak silap" I wasn't very sure either, so I signalled him to wait and asked another girl standing in front of me. She said it was Petaling after all. I texted him, "yes" Then he texted saying that both of them have to go to their school in Shah Alam and asked me where will I be getting down. I said in Klang and he replied "oh, itu lagi jauh" I said yes. The train was so full and there were all kinds of odour and I was sweaty, sticky and feeling so uncomfortable. When the train reached Shah Alam station, the two Chinese boys left with a big smile and showed their mobile phone, "thank you so much, couldn't have made it to school without you, god bless you" I quickly took mine and texted "welcome" They waved and left. Although it was a terrible experience, I was happy to have helped someone after all. Of course, my dad gave me a lecture and told me to board the train earlier next time. As usual, I said "OK, I'm sorry and thanks for picking me up" He was nice enough to pick me up in the Klang station, or I have to walk further and wait for ages for the Bukit Tinggi bus and walk back home.

God

2009-06-14T23:55:00.000-07:00

He guides and makes us stronger.
He strengthens and teaches.
Thank you, God, for guiding.

God

2009-06-13T10:17:00.001-07:00

He tests so much.

Government Hospital

2009-06-08T20:45:00.000-07:00

I was told that they won't do some of the blood tests (Hep. B), so I did it in a private clinic and brought the results to be endorsed by the "certified physician" in a government hospital. When I went today, they told me to come after 2 WEEKS!! Just to see the doctor and get the medical check-up done, I have to wait for another 2 weeks.. The reason? My urine test is not done yet. I will have to wait for another 2 weeks just to get the results IF I do my urine test in the government hospital. That means? They are indirectly encouraging me to do the test elsewhere and get back to them just to endorse them. Why the hell they didn't tell me earlier? I could've done it together with my blood test the other day!!! I wasted my time and energy the whole day walking up and down the hospital. To make things worse, I need to go back to the hospital to do a test called the Mantoux test. And I have to go on a Friday because that's the ONLY day they do that test. Haihz....

6 days!

2009-05-04T20:52:00.000-07:00

Trust me, the 6 days were hell.. It taught me a lot of things.. Thank you, God! I will have to face more of these in the years to come. I am not sure if I am ready to handle this but I will be as understanding as possible, I promise.. I will prove that I am not destructive.. Coz in reality I am not destructive at all!! Thanks for the faith and trust. I live by that till this very day..

Why me?

2009-04-25T00:22:00.000-07:00

Why am I always in the wrong?
Why cant I live life like the others?
Why cant I appreciate what I have?
Why cant I forget my past?
Why cant I live in the present?
Why am I so kanchong?
Why cant I forgive myself?
Why cant I be happy?
Why do I have to live the life you live in?
Why cant I run away?
Why must I be like the others just to fit in?
Why should I "fit in" in the first place?
Why cant I be different?
Why do I have to be somebody else?
Why cant I eat Chinese food everyday?

If only I can find the answers.. God, please be with me!

Go Get Your Friend!

2009-04-11T23:08:00.000-07:00

Thanks Sze Ling.. For the little talk we had today.. Although we will never have the courage to say "that" out, I feel much relieved after talking things over. You know why? Coz we are the so-called "nice ones" who don't dare to voice out what we feel.. Saints of the century! Yaay!

Birdwatching

2009-03-16T07:45:00.000-07:00

I went birdwtaching recently. It was real fun.
One day, my dad came back home saying that there are many birds near his workplace. He was excited about the migratory birds and wants me to see them as well. I followed him the next day and was fascinated after having a close look at them. They are called Ardea purpurea or commonly known as Purple Heron.

Ardea purpurea actually has a snake-like neck which is unbelievable. From my observation, they feed mainly on fish, insects, amphibians, and occasionally shellfish, small mammals, reptiles and even small birds. These birds are shy and solitary hunters, and appear to hunt mostly at night continuing into the early morning. Their slim bills are large and strong enough to kill even large snakes. Their long necks give them a long and powerful reach.

These are some information about them:

Main features: Tall (90-97cm).

Plumage purplish-brown; long black crest; neck snakelike, white or cream with black line down the sides; bill yellow; legs and toes orange-yellow.

Call: Described as a loud resonant croak kranck; a staccato kar-kar-kar at the nest or when taking off.

In flight: Blackish flight feathers, little contrast with dark grey-brown wings and back.

World distribution: Throughout the World in the tropical and warm temperate zones. Not found in Australia.

It is said that some populations are migratory, others are sedentary. I believe that they came to Malaysia to breed and seek food. They will leave this place very soon when they are strong enough to fly back (I guess).

It was very fun. I would love to do that again.

Home again!

2009-03-12T18:45:00.000-07:00

I missed home so much! The car is not at home yet but it is in the Bukit Tinggi Toyota showroom.
It was a pleasant surprise to see the completed renovation at home. I will upload the photos soon.
I missed the Shah Alam library as well. Supposed to go today but it was raining heavily.
I am happy to have tosai and udang sambal for breakfast this morning.
Missed amma's food so much.
Missed dad's scolding and teasing.
Missed almost everything at home.
But still, the family is empty without my brother. Come back, please!
Okay.. Time to eat..
Take care and happy holidays, folks!

Of Being Kanchong

2009-02-08T22:24:00.000-08:00

Sze Ling told me not to sembah anymore. The more I do, the more bad luck I get..
Assignments are in. The tension is there. I am becoming more kanchong. Adlyn hates me for doing so many slides for ES. I can't play badminton. I have to go to school for 2 fuckin weeks. (duh, I am not a teacher yet!)
There is sooooo much to study and I just can't find the time! Kanchong again! Haikhs..
Fifi asked about group studies and that is also pending, LDV assignment is stuck in the middle. Had to change topic for SS in the last minute. More kanchong..

Home again..

2009-01-24T21:24:00.001-08:00

Yup, I am at home now.
A lot in my mind right now.
Assignments, studies, revision..
Tension!
Thanks to mum's food.
My dad booked a car on my birthday.(How sweet can that be?)
It's a VIOS.. Auto.. Metallic silver..
He says I can have the old car! That means I have to drive all the way to Kedah.(Which is not that good)
OMG! I am excited..
I said I am not brave enough to drive in Kedah, so I will be faithful to my bicycle.. Yaay!

I am loving home.. Wish wish wish wish my brother was here too..
If you are reading this, I seriously don't know what the fuck are u still doing in USM!?#@%
Please come home! (begging tone) Pleeeeeeeeeaseeeeeeeeee..

This is too much!!

2009-01-19T00:39:00.000-08:00

Why would they attack and bomb the schools? I thought schools, hospitals and media offices should not be harmed during war. Are they going nuts? I feel so sorry for the innocent kids, women and men. Helpless at the same time. I mean what else can I afford to do, right? Apart from feeling sorry for them and venting out in my blog, is there anything that I can REALLY do to ease their pain and sufferings? The answer is no. Thus, I am angry with myself to a certain degree too. Lord, save us!

Going Back!

2009-01-19T00:35:00.000-08:00

Yup.. I am going back home on the 24th.. That's like 5 days from now. :)
Thanks all..
It will be my first time to KL as I ALWAYS get down in Klang. I really really hope that I don't get lost in KL.
So much write yet so little time.. Haihz..

I am getting better!

2009-01-16T16:52:00.000-08:00

Yaay! A little improvement is still an improvement, right? I have no fever and I stopped vomiting. It's just the diarrhea then. I need to get back home and eat Amma's food so badly.. Yum yum.. Yummy.. I can't wait for the 24th January! Thanks to my dad for promising me Steamboat and seafood. Butter prawn, lemon chicken, salmon with lemon grass sauce, shark fin soup, steamed fish with ginger, baby kailan with oyster sauce, mixed vegetables.... I CAN'T WAIT!!

I don't like the food here..

2009-01-10T01:49:00.000-08:00

I don't like the food in my hostel and I am sick. It's almost a week now. I hate this feeling. Makes me feel like a total loser. I know the medicine for my sickness. I need to go home and eat my mum's food. Rasam and fried fish will do the magic for me. I can't stand another two more weeks here. Wish wish wish they had Indian or Chinese food inside the hostel.

Wedded Blitz by Tina Reilly

2008-12-31T18:53:00.000-08:00

I read another book in the library. Wedded Blitz by Tina Reilly. This one was very touching, entertaining and funny.
This story revolves around Jane (owner of a saloon, wife, daughter of a crazy DJ, mother of 2 demanding children).
She struggles to save her marriage of 16 years with Jim, copes with her youngest son, Owen's death and handles the pressure when Cutting Edge opens a new saloon just opposite the road.
She has good friends (Patrick, her saloon partner who is a gay, Miranda, her assistant who is always doing crazy stuffs).
Although the book was hillarious from the first chapter, the ending was very touching when both, Jim and jane realise that they have not been communicating well and they move on from their past. I liked that part very much when they cleaned their son's grave, put fresh flowers and kissed each, after promising not to be apart anymore.

It was a good read and you can never put the book down. Tina Reilly emphasizes humuor but creates a lovely plot together with vivid characters who'll be etched in our minds.

Happy New Year!

2008-12-31T18:45:00.000-08:00

It started off just like any other day. Happy New Year to all!
I can't digest the fact that I have to leave home today. My bus to Alor Setar is at 10.30pm. *sighs* *long sigh*
I have not started packing anything yet.
I'll give anything to stay at home.
A new hostel,
A new year,
A new semester,
A new .............
Dang, I know that everything is new but can't I just stay in my old and warm home??!
Haihz.. Sorry..
Not a happy post I guess..
Of course. I am not happy.
I wanna drop dead right now.

2008-12-29T21:23:00.000-08:00

The Secret Blog of Raisin Rodriguez by Judy Goldschmidt

2008-12-25T21:25:00.000-08:00

I read another book and this one was hillarious. The cover of the book I read was VERY different! It was in pink and had a photograph of a girl(Raisin).

This book is about Raisin Rodriguez who has moved to Philadelphia from Berkeley, California. She moved because her parents got a divorce and she hates to stay away from her two best friends: Pia and Claudia. That is the main reason she secretly opened a blog to keep them updated about her miserable life.

Raisin struggles a lot to find new friends in her new school. On the first day of her school, she met a group of girls who looked pretty and popular. The group was headed by a girl named Fiona Small. Raisin makes it her mission to become part of that group.

She joins the soccer team (Fiona is captain) only to find out that she is "athletically-challenged." She devises a plan with a snotty tissue to uncover what is in a cute boy's bag. Raisin also shares her personal thoughts about the new kids, her family woes, and her private issues, like getting her period in the secret blog of hers. Her friends Pia and Claudia (known online as PiaBallerina and kweenclaudia) were allowed to post comments to Raisin's blog entries. Judy Goldschmidt has written a creative and unique novel that rings true for the modern world. The story is as humorous and quirky as the character Raisin Rodriguez is herself. This story doesn't have a firm conclusion though but I guess she will continue her silly blog.. :p

இறப்பு

2008-12-25T20:06:00.000-08:00

தாங்கிக் கொள்ள முடியவில்லை
ஏன் வலியைத் தாங்க வேண்டும்?
ஏன் மண்ணை விட்டு பிரிய வேண்டும்?
மனது அழுகிறது..
வலிமை வேண்டும் இறைவா..
உடன்இருப்பாயாக..

Now and Zen by Linda Gerber

2008-12-22T00:35:00.000-08:00

I borrowed a book by the title "Now and Zen" from the Shah Alam library.

This book is a good read. A Japanese American girl (Nori Tanaka) who lives in Ohio gets the chance to study abroad in Tokyo. She met a charming young man, Erik Sussman and instantly fell in love. There are other important characters like Atsushi, Amberly, Michiko who made her stay in Tokyo a memorable one.

Nori faces so many challenges like-having to deal with her parents' separation, finding her true culture and heritage, dealing with the pressure studying under the Students Across the Seven Seas (SASS) programme.

When she gets lost in the train station, Atsushi helped her out but she eventually uses him to get to know Erik Sussman. Erik, on the other hand, thinks that Nori is a native student and treats her like his private tour guide. Nori hides the truth from him and enjoys his company while Atsushi filled her with information about Tokyo. Finally, she had to face the axe and felt guilty for lying to Erik and taking advantage of Atsushi.

She remembers of the great Zen teachings her Jiji told her and tried to clear her mind and concentrate on what was in front of her.

Eventually, she gets a new inspiration after watching the Sun rise in Mt. Fuji and turns over a new leaf. She worked very hard for her presentation and aced her exams. When her presentation was over, she was happy to go back home to Ohio and sweared that she will be content with what she has in life.

yummy

2008-12-20T02:14:00.000-08:00

Cadbury's Caramello is sooooo tasty.. I finished most of the bar. Thanks uncle!
All of you must try it! Its filled with caramel inside! Can you imagine that? I love love love it so much. Yum yum yummy.. (smiling widely)

Lovey Dovey

2008-12-17T20:04:00.000-08:00

"I couldn't let you walk away from me," he explained in a low voice. "It hurt just to imagine it."

I understood without more explanation than that. I thought of being divided from him now and realized I would have felt the same pain, no matter how short the separation.

There was so little time left to be together.
I held my hand out to him, and he took it.

Such small gestures to show someone that you them. This is merely one of the sweetest parts in Breaking Dawn. I hope the movie turns out well though. :)

The Day The Earth Stood Still

2008-12-16T00:12:00.000-08:00

I went for another movie called The Day The Earth Stood Still. This is actually a remake of the 1951 classic sci-fi film about an alien visitor and his giant robot counterpart who visit Earth.

Keanu Reeves played Klaatu, the alien with a human body who came to "save" Earth. The movie picturesquely describes that we, humans will only attempt to change our attitude towards Earth in the brink. Klaatu also learns that humans have another side, which is our emotions. We have the ability to cry, hug and care for others but sad to say, we failed to take good care of the Earth and sustain it aptly. Jaden Smith who played Jacob Benson was really good in showing innocence and longing love for his dead father. It was a good movie to reflect and think back our responsibilities towards the environment. That's why I say:Start recycling!! Or we'll be wiped out from the Earth..

Genting Highlands

2008-12-15T22:53:00.000-08:00

I went to Genting with my parents on 13th December. It was on a Saturday. I stayed there for only one night. Although it was a very short vacation, I had fun. Loads of fun.. My dad drove us to Klang train station. We took a train to KL Sentral and from there took a cab to Genting Skyway. After that, we took the cable car to the peak and checked in to Theme Park Hotel.

My dad & I

On the way to Genting, we stopped at Chocolate Gallery Malaysia. I tried so many chocolates but bought nothing as they were not cheap.

My mum & I in the cable car(Genting Skyway)

After resting for a while in our room, we went to purchase our ride passes to Genting Outdoor Theme Park. The weather was not so good as it rained and was mostly foggy. My dad, mum and I tried 8 games in the theme park.

My mum & I in one of the rides

We started off with Spinner and ended up playing Double Deck Carousel, Super Toboggan, Matahari, Corkscrew, Pirate Ship, and enjoyed the ride around the Genting Theme Park in Antique Car and Mini Train.

Spinner

Too bad, I didn't have the chance to go on the Space Shot. I blame the weather! Urgh..

It doesn't matter though.. lolz.. I did have a great time u noe.. Would've been better if my brother could join us though.. But, he did go to Genting with his final year class and had fun.. First World Hotel must be even better I guess.. lolz..

Okay.. Then, on Sunday, before leaving Genting, I managed to shop around and visit the Visitor's Gallery. It was fantastic. I got to know how much Lim Goh Tong had struggled to finish the project. The Gallery was huge and informative, complete with a model of the whole Genting City. I also went to the World of Beryl's. Here I bought chocolates. The price was more reasonable(the tax is high though).

Model of the Genting Project

I love chocolates.. yum yum

Overall, it was a good trip(minus the part where i puked in the bus on the way back home. I blame the winding roads and the bus driver who drove sooo fast!!). Thanks to my mum and dad for spending so much and following me to all the crazy rides in the theme park. I had fun and I'll go to Genting again in the near future again.. :)

Transporter 3

2008-12-04T07:56:00.000-08:00

Jason Statham

I went out with my best friend today. She was supposed to have an appointment in Tun Hussien Onn Eye Hospital but the doctor was on MC. We decided to catch a movie instead. I suggested 'Bolt' and we both agreed on that. When we got into the cinema, somehow we overlooked the screen and were disappointed that 'Bolt' was not showing. So, we bought 2 tickets for Transporter 3. Just after buying the tickets, I noticed that they had 'Bolt' but we somehow made a mistake. I tried talking to the lady to change the tickets but she told it was too late..
I bought a regular popcorn and we both entered the cinema.. Still not so happy because we couldn't watch 'Bolt'.

Transporter 3 was not that bad after all. It was something like Hitman.

Frank Martin is given the job to transport Valentina (the kidnapped daughter of Leonid Vasilev, the head of the Environmental Protection Agency for Ukraine). The catch here is he has a sophisticated device attached on his wrist that will explode if he moves 75 feet from the car. Like some kinda bomb. The plot was the stereotype one. Guy falls in love with gal and they struggle to free themselves from the baddies.. I loved the action from the beginning till the end. Especially when Frank had to park his car on a running train to save Valentina. (can u imagine that? driving straight from a bridge and landing on top of a running train!!)
You can watch this movie if you love speed, action and wit.. I personally liked it.. And did i mention the cars?

The cars in the film were great, especially the Audi A8 W12. The black Mercedes was fantastic too..

Audi A8 W12

Good casting by Jason Statham, Francois Berleand & Natalya Rudakova.

I might save Bolt for another day.. lolz..

Twilight..

2008-12-02T19:18:00.000-08:00

Twilight was a good effort. The beginning of the movie was a bit slow but picked up in the middle. It was never enough for me. I kept waiting for more but the movie came to an end(too soon). Too bad I was the only Twilighter in the cinema so I can't scream and screech now and then.

Sad

2008-11-23T21:15:00.000-08:00

I am pretty upset with the reviews on Twilight so far. Since I have not watched the movie yet, I'm dying to know whether the reviews are true or not.. Some even stated that the movie was overrated and the acting was horrendous., PLEASE!! Don't let this be true!! There's a link below:
http://movies.yahoo.com/mvc/dfrv?mid=1810010670&uid=XiaVVrHyhtZTuXHQY3P2r_hIR6s-&s=&i=2&spl=0

TWILIGHT

2008-11-23T17:10:00.000-08:00

The cast

Kudos to the Twilight movie's director. Catherine Hardwicke's film enjoyed the biggest opening ever for a female director, blowing away the previous standard of $41.1 million set by Mimi Leder's "Deep Impact" in 1998.

Guess what? Summit Entertainment has announced that it's going ahead with production of "New Moon" during the weekend!!

Look at the standings so far:

1. "Twilight," $70.5 million.
2. "Quantum of Solace," $27.4 million.
3. "Bolt," $27 million.
4. "Madagascar 2: Escape 2 Africa," $16 million.
5. "Role Models." $7.2 million.
6. "Changeling," $2.6 million.
7. "High School Musical 3: Senior Year," $2 million.
8. "Zack and Miri Make a Porno," $1.7 million.
9. "The Boy in the Striped Pajamas," $1.67 million.
10. "The Secret Life of Bees," $1.28 million.

Confusion..

2008-11-22T01:18:00.000-08:00

There's no doubt that many of us have webcams today.
I am really confused why many chatters insist in viewing one's webcam before chatting. There are a few who refuse to chat after I declined to invite them to view my webcam. Why so? Not that I'm desperate to find someone to chat with. Duh.. I signed in to just chat with my long lost friend who's doing medicine in a far away land. I got annoyed after some time when I started receiving messages like "do you have cam?", "cam 2 cam?" and other nonsense. I signed in as invisible later on. Haiks..

Marina

2008-11-22T01:05:00.000-08:00

There are reasons why I miss Jitra. Marina’s food is not that bad actually. And, yes. I still have not tasted their hot plate tofu. ***Reminder to Sze Ling*** First thing the next semester. :)
Their fried kalian is good.. I can’t do comparison because Marina’s the only Chinese restaurant there.. :p
What else I’ve eaten there? Yup.. Clay pot tofu also. Not that bad you know. Especially if you are stuck in a place without Chinese food for quite some time. *sigh* *sigh*
I hereby take this opportunity to thank Marina and their crew for.. (Okay that sounds pathetic)
There are a few photos that I took earlier:

Fried Kailan

We ordered rice that day

That's the claypot tofu I mentioned earlier

The Book of Ruth

2008-11-17T23:10:00.000-08:00

I was watching TV in the living room. I was just randomly changing the channels as I didn’t really fix my mind on a specific channel. I stopped at Hallmark. There was this familiar girl on this movie. It was the eldest girl in the sitcom, Nanny. I can’t remember her name though. The movie was called The Book of Ruth. Yes, Ruth was the girl I said. She played a vulnerable girl who struggled to stay at home. Her mother was always making her look as if she was retarded and the worst part was she accepted the tyranny of her cruel mother. She had a friend by the name Daisy who went to a Beauty School but she worked in a Laundry Service with her mum. The wicked witch actually takes away her monthly paycheck and gives her allowance. My heart throbbed to look at her. When she has periods, she has to practically “ask” her mother for tampons. Can you believe it? Of course Ruth was nice and sweet but she allows her mum to control her and believes that she can never go against her and grow up for herself. She had this aunt whom she called Aunt Sid and they correspond to each other through letters. Her mum even tried to say that her aunt is using her. Aunt Sid’s letters actually changed her life. The books Aunt Sid sent her made her realise that she should speak up. Ruth decided to go out one day with Daisy. They went to the lake and Daisy introduced Ruth to a man called Ruby. It wasn’t love at first sight, I can bet on that! He was looking at her seductively only to sleep with her. She liked that feeling of course. Finally, a guy smiles up to her. Then, Ruby came looking for her in the laundry shop and asked her out. Her mum was not happy of that but eventually let her go out with him one day. He took her to the pub and they slow danced for a while. She fell for him and he loved her too. Then, he took her to some kind of a yard and had sex with her! At this point, I really felt sorry for her. How bad can a person’s life be? She ran home and cried but her mother was not being supportive either. Things were bad for quite some time. Meanwhile, Ruth spat at her mother saying that she doesn’t want her to be happy. Ruby and Ruth were madly in love and they decided to get married. Mother was not happy about this; Ruby is irresponsible and he takes drugs. He certainly won’t make a good father. Mother, Ruth and Ruby stayed together for quite some time. Ruth was pregnant and mother was not happy about that too. Ruth’s mother always disgraces Ruby and calls him names as she sees him as a worthless moron. Ruth was understanding and supportive towards hubby, Ruby but always sided her mum out of fear. There’s another part of Ruby: he lost his mum when he was young and he tends to get upset very easily and when this happens, he breaks things. When Justin (Ruth and Ruby’s child) was born, things were a little different. Mother was very happy to be a grandma and showered him with all the love. Again, she never stopped cursing Ruby and hated him to the fullest. She tried to make Justin hers by not even letting Ruby spend time with him. One day, Ruby met with an accident after doing drugs. He broke his legs and things got even worse. One day, after having their meal, Justin wanted cookies but grandma forbid him by saying that it spoils good teeth. That’s when Ruby got angry and yelled that “Justie is MY son and if wants a cookie, he gets a cookie”. He dashed to the living room to grab some cookies for Justin and grandma started saying things like “Don’t you dare do that”. When Justin starts eating the cookies, hell broke loose.

“He’s my son and I’m his father. I am the man of the house. Master of the family”

“Oh, that’s the best joke I’ve heard in my entire life, you pill popper! Your brains are in your ass, you moron!”

Justin was crying on the top of his lungs. Ruth tried to stop the fight but she was pushed to the floor and mother starts screaming “Stop doing that to her!”

Ruby got wild and attacked mother violently. I can see all the hatred and vengeance in his dark eyes. He pushed her to the floor, dragged her through the stairs and battered her in the closet. He hit and stepped her like a beast. He vented his feelings out after taking in the taunts for years. He became a monster and forgot himself. More of an animal without compassion. All this while, he was putting up with the taunts and tried to brush it off. He had his limits too. This time, it was on the brink and he lost it. Lost himself. It was sad, so sad. I cried. So much.

The whole movie was filmed in somewhat flashback. Ruth was in the hospital and the police were investigating who was the killer. I watched it from the middle so forgive me. Ruby surrendered and Ruth learned to live for her and Justin. After the funeral, she still feels that she needs her mother to yell at her and tell her what to do. Sigh sigh. Aunt Sid tried to help her out but she said that “From now on, I decide on my future”

She takes Justin and prepares to live life.

The movie was a good one. I’m not here to judge anyone but I know that all of them suffered so much. Ruth is a rock. I may never empathize for her but I definitely sympathize for her. Thank you Hallmark. You always provide the best ones and highlight your motto, "Life is a drama".

Yes indeed.

I'm Home!

2008-11-13T22:36:00.000-08:00

Heyya.. I'm home again! This time it's gonna be 1 and a 1/2 months. Oh my God! My head is still spinning.. Yippee! There are so many things on my list and I'm gonna make this holiday a good one. I want to:

Go shopping
Learn how to drive "properly"
Watch movies
Cook
Travel
Read my all time favourite books
Blog more frequently
Visit my friends
Work (with or without a pay)
Study (yes, I will try my very best)
Go to Penang (visit bro)
Have a blasting New Year!
Prepare for another challenging semester in IPDA

Yaaaay.. U know wats my breakfast today? Bread with Udang Sambal & Sambar.. Thanks mum.. I love you! Got to go.. TV's calling me so badly.

Take care all!

Relieved..

2008-11-06T21:18:00.000-08:00

Yes. I am so relieved right now. Just unloaded my stuffs to the new hostel.(using IPDA's lorry)

It was so much fun. I had 13 items in total. 1o boxes, 1 big Polo bag, 1 pail, 1 pillow. My room is clean right now and I have to spend another 1 week over here in Taman Siswa. Mind you, my new hostel is sooooooo beautiful. I captured a few pictures but didn't have the time to transfer to my laptop. That doesn't matter at all right now.. As long I can shout out that I LOVE MY NEW HOSTEL SOO MUCH!!!!! Will be posting the photos very soon. I have a good news too. I'm leaving home on 13th November which is like less than a week.. Yippee!!!!!!!!!! Can't wait.. Okay, got to go now. Won't be posting anything till I get back home.

God bless! Take care all..

Yippee!

2008-11-06T21:04:00.000-08:00

My final presentation of the year is over. You have no idea how happy I am now. I can fully concentrate on going back home and enjoying the holidays. I am going to start packing tonight since I have collected boxes to store my stuffs yesterday. Hooray! I thank God for giving me the strength to endure this hectic yet memorable semester. I just want to go home right now. Yeah, I forgot. There’s this reflection for LDV that should be submitted on this Thursday. Well, I’ve done that earlier but that was too long. I’m still editing it until now. It should be between 400 to 500 words. Mine went to about 800 words. I’ll work on it again today.

November 5th, 2008

Preface

2008-11-06T21:03:00.000-08:00

The artist is the creator of beautiful things.

To reveal art and conceal the artist is art’s aim.

The critic is he who can translate into another manner or a new material his impression of beautiful things.

The highest, as the lowest, form of criticism is a mode of autobiography.

Those who find ugly meanings in beautiful things are corrupt without being charming. This is a fault.

Those who find beautiful meanings in beautiful things are the cultivated. For these there is hope.

They are the elect to whom beautiful things mean only Beauty.

Preface of “The Picture of Dorian Gray” by Oscar Wilde

To all of us,

We should stop losing our charm. Wilde claims it is a fault to look at ugly meanings in a beautiful thing. “Beauty” itself is a subjective matter. It is also said that all God’s creations are beautiful. Therefore, let us all be cultivated as there’s hope for us.

Fallen In Love Again!

2008-11-06T20:56:00.000-08:00

Now I can’t stop listening to this song. James Blunt’s emo nemo voice suits this type of songs. Really. The song’s called Carry You Home. Here are the lyrics:-

Trouble is her only friend and he's back again.

Makes her body older than it really is.

She says it's high time she went away,

No one's got much to say in this town.

Trouble is the only way is down.

Down, down.

As strong as you were, tender you go.

I'm watching you breathing for the last time.

A song for your heart, but when it is quiet,

I know what it means and I'll carry you home.

I'll carry you home.

If she had wings she would fly away,

And another day God will give her some.

Trouble is the only way is down.

Down, down.

As strong as you were, tender you go.

I'm watching you breathing for the last time.

A song for your heart, but when it is quiet,

I know what it means and I'll carry you home.

I'll carry you home.

And they were all born pretty in New York City tonight,

And someone's little girl was taken from the world tonight,

Under the Stars and Stripes.

As strong as you were, tender you go.

I'm watching you breathing for the last time.

A song for your heart, but when it is quiet,

I know what it means and I'll carry you home.

I'll carry you home.

:"

2008-11-06T20:53:00.000-08:00

I knew the flight from Rome to Atlanta would be another matter entirely, so I asked the flight attendant if she could bring me a Coke.
"Bella," Edward said disapprovingly. He knew my low tolerance for caffeine.
_______________________________________________________

I have a low tolerance for caffeine too I should say. Besides that, I am also not allowed to consume Coke. What a coincidence? Darn, Bella and I have a similarity!

<_>

2008-11-01T02:34:00.000-07:00

Once you cared about a person, it was impossible to be logical about them anymore.

pg. 265 New Moon by Stephanie Meyer

I wonder if that’s true. Hmmm... If you cared for a person so much, you wouldn’t want them to get hurt, right? Poor Bella is dying to meet Jacob and tell him that there’ll be people hunting for wolves in the woods. In this case, werewolves I should say.

Werewolf?

2008-11-01T02:33:00.000-07:00

Why? Why must it be Jacob? Although I knew that Jacob was one from the part where he was always warm and hot as opposed to the “cold ones” like Edward. It’s painful enough to discover that Jacob Black is a werewolf. I wonder how would Bella digest the fact that the only person who was healing her slowly, Jacob was a werewolf. This is BAD I mean REAL B-A-D!!

31st October 2008

T_T

2008-11-01T02:31:00.001-07:00

One thing I truly knew—knew it in the pit of my stomach, in the center of my bones, knew it from the crown of my head to the soles of my feet, knew it deep in my empty chest—was how love gave someone the power to break you.

pg. 192 New Moon by Stephanie Meyer

Yes, and Bella is broken beyond repair. Edward, wherever you are, just come back to Bella. Please! I beg you! She simply can’t live without you and you know that.

:0

2008-11-01T02:24:00.003-07:00

"It's just that, I know how you're unhappy a lot. And, maybe it doesn't help anything, but I wanted you to know that I'm always here. I won't ever let you down—I promise that you can always count on me. Wow, that does sound corny.
But you know that, right? That I would never, ever hurt you?"

pg. 191, New Moon by Stephanie Meyer

Jacob tells so to Bella after going for the movie. Someone told me that too some time ago. Like déjà vu you know. I got to know that I can relate myself to this story more and more nowadays. I’m still thanking Adlyn silently.

Random, purely random thoughts...

2008-11-01T02:23:00.000-07:00

Just another boring day I guess. Why must it rain? It made things worst. My mood depends on the weather too at times. It rained and made things even worse. Argh.. At least I can look forward to the weekend ahead. Friday and Saturday.. Yippee! Funny right? The rest of the world will be having off on Saturday and Sunday.. Haha.. It doesn’t matter anymore as I’m used to it. Really.. Well, I’ll be going to temple today again. Kandar Shahsti Fast started yesterday. It will last for almost a week. My plan is to go to temple everyday if possible. There’s this beautiful Lord Muruga temple here in Jitra. Trust me, it’s worth going there everyday. I really hope it won’t rain today or I’ll be soaking wet when I get back home. And I’m missing home too. I want to get the earliest ticket available back home. *sob* *sob*

October 30th 2008

Poor Knees!

2008-11-01T02:20:00.000-07:00

I realised something when I was travelling from Klang to Jitra. It was in the night and I was feeling very cold. Then, in the middle of the night I was shivering and my knees cannot be moved. I mean it can be moved but it was soo painful and was as if frozen inside. For one moment I thought I was lifting the patella. I was damn bloody scared and the pain doesn’t seem to stop. Then I realised that I can’t even shout for help as there was no doctor in the bus. I slowly started to relax my knee a little and the pain eased away. That’s when I started questioning to myself ‘what will happen if there’s a “REAL” emergency on the bus?’
There were no doctors on board, so…? Still thinking….hmmmmm…

Deepavali!

2008-10-28T04:58:00.000-07:00

I’ve been having a gala time lately. Never did any revision whatsoever (no offence Yazid). Of course! It is Deepavali.. Yay!! Although my uncle passed away and we are not really supposed to “celebrate” as a respect for his soul, we did have a little fun. I’m sure my uncle wouldn’t be happy if he sees us surrounding his photograph and mourning his death. I woke up early in the morning. Had oil bath and wore new clothes as usual. Went straight to temple for prayers. Then to my grandma’s house in Pandamaran. Saw my uncle ONLY. (My aunt is in Japan taking care of her mum who is dying off Alzheimer and yes, my uncle is married to a Japanese lady.) Their daughter is off to Australia to do Music like she always used to say. She plays the violin so beautifully. After that, I went to Banting to visit my other uncles and aunts. I ate so much till my stomach would burst into pieces. I love Sumathi akka’s cocoa cake so much. Not to forget periamma’s cooking. Sorry I missed you out mom!! My mom can cook like nobody’s business. She made chicken, mutton (for my dad), my favourite tofu, mixed vege, beans, fried fish, udang sambal, pudalangai (I swear to God I don’t know the name in English), and the list goes down… She did all of those while I was at home for the short break not only on Deepavali Day. Hehehehe… It’s toooo much for one day, no? Wait! Where was I? Yup, I had fun in Banting too. I spent some time over there with my cousins catching up on old stories and updating them with new ones. It felt good to see all of them after such a long time. I hate staying away from home especially those familiar faces who always love being around me. My father was getting tired of driving around so decided to make a leave. We left in the evening and headed home to watch TV programmes on Astro. Some were exceptionally good you know..
That’s about it.. My Deepavali doesn’t include open houses and lavish dinners. As long as I spend time with my family and loved ones, my Deepavali is complete. I love you all! Thanks for your care and warmth. Gonna miss all of you sooooooooo much. I bet! *Sob* *sob*
It’s nearing 8pm and my bus to Kedah is at 10pm. How much I hate to go back there, leaving all these people behind!!!!
I can only bring memories and the happy times I had with them to Kedah. It’s okay I guess. I’ll be running back home on 13th November. Hooooray!! That means I’ll be home for like 1.5 months!! Who says being a teacher trainee has no advantages, huh? :)
I must get going. Still have to pack up some of my stuffs. Bye!

New Moon

2008-10-24T00:27:00.000-07:00

He looked away into the trees as he spoke again. "Of course, I'll always love you… in a way. But what happened the other night made me realize that it's time for a change. Because I'm… tired of pretending to be something I'm not, Bella. I am not human." He looked back, and the icy planes of his perfect face were not human. "I've let this go on much too long, and I'm sorry for that."
_____________________________________________________
The above excerpt is taken from Stephanie Meyer’s New Moon, pg 66

I can relate myself to this story here and there. Pretending to be something you are not can be indeed tiring and painful. I have seen people who are willing to change and claim later that it is not easy at all. I can see it in Edward too. He is very tired of being a “human” to take care of fragile Bella. Love is not about merely changing for another person but learning to accept each other’s flaws and complement each other. But then again, what happens if the person is intolerable and have characteristics that cannot be accepted? I can’t afford to spare some of the so-called characteristics over here for the sole purpose of not hurting anyone.

Again..

2008-10-24T00:17:00.000-07:00

Isabella Swan(in the movie) of the Twilight saga by Stephanie Meyer

I am currently on page 184 and at this point, I hate Bella! It is 2.28a.m. in the morning and I feel like stabbing Bella. I wish I was a vampire just to suck her blood or something.. *Sob* *Sob*. I can’t deny that she is innocently adorable and everything but.. oh, whatever. It doesn’t matter. Adlyn, I wish you are here to share this moment with me as I know that you hate her as well for taking away your Eddy. After Harry Potter series, Twilight has electrified me again to read it with the thirst to find out what actually happened in the end. I confess right here that I am not merely reading Twilight because it has become the recent craze but rather to fulfill my lust for reading a good fiction. Stephanie Meyer, wherever you are, thanks for a wonderful piece of contemporary work of literature that will stay forever in the heart of the overzealous readers.

Written on Friday October 17th 2008

Edward Cullen & Isabella Swan in the movie, Twilight

Twilight

2008-10-24T00:01:00.000-07:00

Throughout the vast shadowy world of ghosts and demons there is no figure so terrible, no figure so dreaded and abhorred, yet dight with such fearful fascination, as the vampire, who is himself neither ghost nor demon, but yet who partakes the dark natures and possesses the mysterious and terrible qualities of both.

-Rev. Montague Summers

If there is in this world a well-attested account, it is that of the vampires.
Nothing is lacking: official reports, affidavits of well-known people, of surgeons,
of priests, of magistrates; the judicial proof is most complete. And with all that, who is there who believes in vampires?

-Rousseau

This can be seen on page 129 & 130 of Twilight by Stephanie Meyer. I take this opportunity to thank my love, Adlyn (sorry for blurting it out dear but it is time for everyone to know the truth, oops!) for giving me the four books: Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse and Breaking Dawn. I have read 150 pages of Twilight at one go and still can’t take my eyes off it. I realised that I’m not hungry for food but have developed the hunger to know the ending of this novel. I’m dying Adlyn, I seriously am. I came to the verge of completely ignoring the text messages and phone calls on my cell phone and my piling up assignment tasks. I took a small break from Twilight by penning this down for a while and sorry to say that I can’t withstand the urge to complete this chapter. I really have to go now!

p.s. :

Adlyn, if you are reading this, I love you!

Sze Ling & Natra, please don’t kill me for I have not done my short notes for LDV assignment yet.

Written 12.53 a.m. on Friday October 17th 2008

Guess what? I'm home!!

2008-10-23T21:41:00.000-07:00

I am at home now (I mean the real home, not the Taman Siswa 'house' I used to live in). A place I am so familiar with. A place that welcomes me with open arms even when I am down and moody. I spotted a new TV. It's a Toshiba LCD flat screen 32'. Love it soooooooooo much! The hall is more cosy and warm now, with greenish brown curtains and matching silk cushion covers on the sofa. I have a new set of bedsheet which is also awesome. Take a look at the pictures below:-)

Wondering what is it?

Tadaa.... Isn't it beautiful? The resolution is so high and I simply love the quality of the images (Don't blame me if I don't blog often anymore, blame the TV)

The curtains I mentioned earlier. (Sorry coz its taken clumsily with my handphone. I bet its even more beautiful if you see it directly)

They are extra comfortable now. Nowadays I can't lift my ass off the cushions on the sofa :)

Thats how my bed looks like now. I changed the bedsheet at 6 something in the morning immediately after reaching home and I never regret doing so!

I am very happy to be back home. No, actually the word "happy" is a mere understatement. Overwhelmed and flooded with emotions I should say. Like euphoria like that.
Okay, I have to stop right now. Have to start unpacking my stuffs from the big bulky bag I brought from college.

p/s: I will publish about my feelings towards the Twilight saga in the following posts. Wrote a few of them much earlier but didn't have the internet connection to upload them in my blog.

Peace! Klang is smokin' and I'm lovin' it to bits!!

Ants

2008-10-10T00:58:00.000-07:00

I'm beginning to accept that ants are my brothers and sisters. I live with them. I eat with them and they eat my left over food. I sleep with them but do not enjoy their company. They crawl on my clothes and I show them the World out there. I do not love them but they can't live without me. It's pretty scary that Taman Siswa cosists of most of them. I hope Portsmouth has less or no ants at all. I really do hope that they won't follow me on the flight to UK.
Bravo ants of Taman Siswa, Jitra!

I'm so angry!

2008-10-10T00:54:00.000-07:00

I'm angry with myself.
I'm angry with those surrounding me.
I'm angry with everyone.
I'm angry with especially someone.
No, I'm angry with all.

I did it again!

2008-10-02T02:43:00.000-07:00

Everytime I go back home for the holidays, I have high hopes of finishing my assignments and homeworks. I do tons of 'to-do' list only to find myself stuggling to complete all the tasks. I'm beginning to accept that I should not be "over-ambitious" in doing things while I am home. After all, I might change my mind upon looking at my parents, friends, my couch, bed, kitchen, fridge.. (you know what I'm saying)
Holidays are meant to be enjoyed right? Okay, mom's calling.. I gotta cook and I bet we are going to have fun.. again!

Enough!

2008-10-01T01:57:00.000-07:00

A gentle reminder to all out there:

Just because I am pursuing a degree in TESL, doesn't mean that I don't speak Tamil and don't love my mother tongue.
I don't speak in English "to show off". Who speaks a language "to show off"? I speak in English when there is a need for it. A language is spoken to deliver and receive messages to and from another party. As long as the message is conveyed to the receiver clearly and concisely. Who cares what language you use to deliver the message? (Except for academic purposes, when you are required to master the language)
For God's sake, I obtained my primary education in a Tamil school. It's called SJK (T) SIMPANG LIMA!
I speak and write Tamil well enough to be called an Indian.

Another gentle reminder to all:

Just because I speak Tamil mostly, doesn't mean that I don't know how to speak English! I can spell out and write my own name in English.
Stop judging me!

It is totally up to me whether I wish to speak in Tamil, English, Malay, Mandarin, Japanese or whatever language...

Don't say that I can't speak English or I am pretending not to know Tamil!

Under certain circumstances I don't feel like coversing in Tamil, so I resort to talk in English. Does that bring any harm to anyone?

There are times when I have to talk in Tamil because the situation is such. I willingly talk in Tamil as I have no problem with the language.

Does that mean I am dumb or I can't speak in English?

I don't have to go around explaining to people that I am not dumb because I don't owe anyone any explanation!

Let me just be me!

*Don't take this personally as I am writing this out of frustration and this post is not intended to pinpoint any individual(s)

Thank you for not judging me anymore!

Regards and care,

Nandini Indiran

(Speaks both, Tamil and English)

Thank God!

2008-09-26T01:30:00.000-07:00

I thank God for giving me the opportunity to be at home and spend some quality time with my family. I see many people are suffering and they are inflicted with so much of pain and misery. I thank God for guiding them through their tough times.
God is everywhere and is kind to ALL. Believe me! I've realised this; even today. I thank God for giving me a chance to experience another day in this beautiful world(although I complain a lot). I thank God for giving me the strength to strive on during my bad days. I thank God for putting a smile on my face when I am in pain. I also thank God for holding me when I needed him the most. I thank God for who I am today in this world.

----------okay, i'm being too emotional----------

God bless,

Nandini Indiran

1973!

2008-09-26T01:03:00.000-07:00

I have always been obsessed about this song. I have no idea why till today. Perhaps the tune, I wouldn’t know. I’ve discovered this love (or perhaps lust) for his (James Blunt) songs. Especially this one: 1973. I can go on listening to this song forever. Seriously! I’m currently listening to this song while I’m writing down this post too. I am not a person who loves listening to melodious love songs but this one is exceptionally good. I’m hooked up with this one. It has been a long time now but this song is still in my mind. I’m so addicted to this song. The lyrics are good too.

Simona
You're getting older
Your journey's been
Etched on your skin
Simona
Wish I had known that
What seemed so strong
Has been and gone
I will call you up every Saturday night
And we both stayed out till the morning light
And we sang, "Here we go again"
And though time goes by
I will always be
In a club with you
In 1973
Singing "Here we go again"

Simona
Wish I was sober
So I could see clearly now
The rain has gone
Simona
I guess it's over
My memory plays our tune
The same old song
I will call you up every Saturday night
And we both stayed out till the morning light
And we sang, "Here we go again"
And though time goes by
I will always be
In a club with you
In 1973
Singing "Here we go again"
I will call you up every Saturday night
And we both stayed out till the morning light
And we sang, "Here we go again"
And though time goes by
I will always be
In a club with you
In 1973
Singing "Here we go again"
I will call you up every Saturday night
And we both stayed out till the morning light
And we sang, "Here we go again"
And though time goes by
I will always be
In a club with you
In 1973
Singing "Here we go again"I
will call you up every Saturday night
And we both stayed out till the morning light
And we sang, "Here we go again"
And though time goes by
I will always be
In a club with you
In 1973
Singing "Here we go again"
And though time goes by
I will always beIn a club with youIn 1973

You have got to listen to this song!
Got to go now. Take care.

The Worst Day! 14th September 2008

2008-09-25T22:25:00.000-07:00

As usual I got up in the morning, went straight to the bathroom. I had a long warm bath. After having a nice and relaxing shower, I twisted the knob to open the door. But I couldn’t come out! The door knob was stuck. I can’t open it from the inside. I started to panic. I was soooo scared. My roommate was fast asleep. I didn't know what to do! Of course I didn’t have my cell phone to call anyone for help. Then, I decided to scream and wake the whole house up. I yelled for a few minutes. Not even a single sound. Everyone was in deep slumber. I called out again, this time even louder. Again no reply at all. I was getting cold in there. I shouted for one last time. By the Heavens! My roommate got up and she came to the bathroom door. She asked why was I yelling like a mad girl. I told her what was wrong. She tried twisting the knob but couldn’t open it from the outside too! I was terrified. How could this happen? Maybe *someone (my housemates will know who) purposely did that. Someone wants me dead inside the bathroom. She (my roommate) told me that she’ll get the warden for help. I said noooooo!!! Already I’m half naked and she wants to call the warden! Is she out of her mind or something? I told her to try open the door again. I told her to break it open but that would be even worse; then nobody can bathe in there. I got an idea! I told her to get a spoon from the kitchen and trying opening the door by slotting the spoon inside the tiny gap between the door and the knob. I waited patiently till she got the spoon and tried her luck. GUESS WHAT??It clicked and opened! Hooray! I danced around for a while and hugged my roommate. Thanks to all the English movies I watched for the dirty trick. Lolz.. I was more than happy to be in my room again. I started sticking notes on the door saying that “PLEASE DON'T CLOSE THE DOOR, IT CAN’T BE OPENED FROM THE INSIDE AND NOBODY WILL RESPOND TO YOUR SCREAMS”
I stuck a note outside the bathroom door, another one inside the bathroom door and the final one on the main door before entering the bath area. The Giant Blue Door.

I certainly don’t want that to happen to anyone else. Please!
Peace!
p/s: Supposed to post this earlier but the internet connection was bad in college. I'm back home now and am having unlimited connection.... Hooray!Cheers!

Some Pictures..

2008-09-25T20:49:00.000-07:00

Here are some pictures that I came across recently. And I definitely feel that they are worth sharing with all of you. Here you go:

I really thought it was a giant cat sleeping soundly!

This is also amazing, right? The crocodile seems so real.

Seems like it's too thirsty..

Hahaha.. Fish head! I should give it to my mom to cook kari kepala ikan!! lolz..

Somebody's sleeping!

Another unique scene... The beautiful sunshine is in the heart shape.. God is showering love from above for all of us!!!

I know that it is a face but what face? Can you guess?

Oh look! It is a pig!

Words…

2008-09-06T00:10:00.001-07:00

A person’s words have so much power. It contains the power to influence someone and change that person’s perspective in life. A person’s words can motivate, support and soothe someone. The words used can cause a lot of impact on an individual. A three lettered phrase can be comforting. (Please take care, Eat on time, Take good care, Please be careful, Do study hard, Pray to God, Mummy loves you)

At the same time, they can inflict pain too. (I hate you, You look horrible, Don’t be stupid, Don’t act smart, Watch your words)

At times, people tend to say something real bad out of rage and anger. Those words may result in a deep scar forever. Anger causes a person to lose their mind and utter unpleasant words. So, please hold your tongue a minute. [I’ve been trying to do that too lately]

You may never have meant those words but you blurt out without even realizing it. Therefore, please be careful with your words. Words have the power to kill. You wouldn’t want to be a murderer, right?

Just Me!

2008-09-06T00:04:00.000-07:00

I have this problem. I know that I have a lot of work to be done. But I still don’t feel like doing them. I wait for the last minute and complain, complain and complain about everything. I resort to coffee to burn the midnight oil. I stay up the whole night and try to finish up my piling work. Many have told me that I should change my sleeping pattern or do my work in the afternoon or evening. I tried so hard but I don’t think it is working for me at all. I came to the conclusion that I am a night person and I just can’t bring myself to sit down and do my work during the day. I mean I can sit down but I start doing things which are not so important. Like playing games, blogging, surfing the net, organizing my laptop files and pretending to complete my work. I wonder if anyone else has the same disease as mine. Please let me know if there is any cure for it too... Thanks a million in advance. Even now, I am supposed to do my critical review on my article regarding divorce. It is for my Social Studies Assignment this semester. I am not really in the mood of writing down a review, what more a CRITICAL review!!!! God, I am going insane!! Sze Ling occasionally comes down to my room to check on me. Whenever she drops by, I still haven’t started on my draft. She just smiles and leaves. Thanks Sze Ling! I think I will start doing my review now. It is almost silent as everyone has gone to bed. The clock shows 1.43a.m. and if I don’t start my work now, I’m never going to start at all. So, I have to shut my darling laptop and give her a rest as she has been working very hard like me the whole day. Thanks for the coffee too for keeping me awake this long. I really hope it can keep me awake till I get my review done. Long live Nescafe!

Oops..

2008-09-05T03:14:00.000-07:00

The weather nowadays is terrible. When I feel like going out, it pours heavily. When I just want to lay back and relax, it's hot as hell!! Urgh.. I wish I had a device that will change the weather in a single click. I will have snow when I want and autumn as I please. That would be great, right? Hehehehe... I shouldn't be complaining, I know! I wish the rain will stop so that I can go out! The Bazaar Ramadan is calling me..

Hey there!

2008-09-05T03:06:00.000-07:00

I've been doing a lot of work recently. Really.. My group members and I are struggling to finish up our portfolio to be handed in next Monday. *sigh* *sigh*
So little time yet we have so much to be done. God, help us please!
To add more pressure, I've got my own problems to be dealt with and I am feeling very "low-spirited" than before.. Haihz.. I wish I had a time a machine.. Sob sob sob.. I want to go back home!

Stress!

2008-08-30T21:13:00.000-07:00

Although the big play of the year, "The Merchant of Venice" is over, I still have a lot of assignments to be done. [sigh] [sigh]
Things to do:
1. Numerical Literacy survey questions
2. Language Development mini research project
3. English Studies individual reflection
4. Social Studies exhibition
5. Be more organized
6. Get more sleep
7. Be more considerate
8. Try (very hard) to put myself in other people's shoes and think in another person's perspective before judging
9. Kick off the lazy attitude
10. Learn to respect others more
11. Stop complaining and try to make changes in me before pointing fingers at others
12. Get more sleep
13. More sleep....
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Feels Like Heaven at Home..

2008-08-29T20:23:00.000-07:00

I'm at home once again and you have no idea how happy I am..
I went to the library to do some leisure reading on Friday and I found some really good books. I've got pictures of them(will post them soon).. Then, later at night I went to temple and met so many familiar faces. Everyone were asking about my course and how am I coping with my studies. They were very warm and cheerful. Nothing can be more soothing than meeting welcoming faces and 'feeling at home'. Suddenly you feel good when there are supportive people around you; to lift you up.

:)

2008-08-29T04:15:00.000-07:00

Well, okay. I’m back in my college to see some unwanted faces. How I wish that the holidays will last forever. Oh God! Let me stay at home just a while more.

It’s back to square one again. Waking up at 6.30am, going for lectures, coming home tired (with a growling stomach), spending the evening juggling with household chores, assignments, ISL (if you’re wondering what is ISL, it means Independent Self Learning), sleeping late at night wondering what to do, waking up the next morning confused. Hahaha… Anyway, I kinda miss that routine too.

Currently my clock shows 5:03am and I can’t sleep because I used to be awake during the holidays. My room mate is back and I feel “at home” now. The two of us giggling and laughing at the lamest matter, sharing new stories from our hometowns. The best part is, she is not sleepy either. She is talking away with her boyfriend on the phone. They make a cute couple I should say.

It is getting very late indeed! I should force my eyes shut and go to sleep. There’s this choir tomorrow in college in conjunction with the Merdeka (Independence Day) celebrations. ZZZZzzzzzzzz…..

PS: Supposed to post this quite some time ago but didn't have the time..lolz..

I want to share this too..

2008-08-29T04:09:00.000-07:00

Hey there! I think this is really worth reading.

HOW TO LIVE LIFE
1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant.

2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. Buy a lock if you have to.

3. Buy a DVR and tape your late night shows and get more sleep.

4. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, 'My purpose is to __________ today.'

5. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.

6. Play more games and read more books than you did in 2007.

7. Make time for prayer. Seek God with all you've got.

8. Spend time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of 6.

9. Dream more while you are awake.

10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.

11. Drink green tea and plenty of water.. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli, almonds & walnuts.

12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.

13. Clear clutter from your house, your car, your desk and let new and flowing energy into your life.

14. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.

15. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.

16. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.

17. Smile and laugh more.

18. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

20. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

21. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

22. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.

23. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

24. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

25. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'In five years, will this matter?'

26. Forgive everyone for everything.

27. What other people think of you is none of your business.

28. GOD heals almost everything.

29. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

30. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

31. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

32. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

33. The best is yet to come.

34. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

35. Do the right thing!

36. Call your family often. (Or email them to death!!!) Hey I'm thinking of ya!

37. Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements: * I am thankful for __________. * Today I accomplished _________.

38. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.

39. Enjoy the ride. Remember this is not Disney World and you certainly don't want a fast pass. You only have one ride through life so make the most of it and enjoy the ride.

Why?

2008-08-20T09:08:00.000-07:00

There are people who are good in hurting another person’s feelings.
I’ve encountered such people in my life.

(I just felt like writing that down)

We meet different kinds of people in our lives. Some who make us feel good and some who can hurt us. I am happy to have met people who made my life happy. I am also happy to have people who have hurt me. Those who have hurt me are the ones that made me stronger in life. I prove to myself that I can be a stronger person each time someone hurts me. I am not vulnerable. I am just a human being. I have emotions and I do breakdown at times. In such times, I know that God is with me. I take this whole life as a book. It has many pages in it. Each day, when I flip a new page, I have learned something. I have learned to be a better person. I have learned to be stronger. I am one step closer to God. I have given myself a chance to improve myself.

It is painful to see many scars within but it shaped me for who I am today. I thank God for everything I have today.

This Is How I Feel

2008-08-20T09:05:00.000-07:00

Have you ever been hurt so much that you desperately needed someone to talk to?

I felt it. I took my phone. I called so many times. Tears rolling down my cheeks. I prayed so hard. Nobody answered my call. I tried again and again. So many times. Like a mad girl. I wanted to talk. Just that. Is it so much to ask? All I need is someone.

I went to my prayer room. I cried to God. He understood. He understood how I felt. How hurt was I at that moment. How I needed a shoulder to cry on. How I needed someone to shed my tears away. How I needed someone to pretend listening to me. I cried so much. He helped me. I know that God will help me for I am his child. He came in the form of my best friend. I messaged her asking whether she was awake. Her quick reply was ‘yes’. I called her straightaway. She was there. Listening to me even when she doesn’t have to. I know that it was God. Answering my prayers. I silently thanked Him. As I type this, I am still fighting back the tears.

Deep down, I know that I am strong. I will be fine in no time. I know that. God is with me. I can feel His presence. Thank you God!

A Day In Shah Alam

2008-08-19T08:54:00.000-07:00

I went to Shah Alam today. My dad took me there. I went to the library over there. I was left standing outside the library around 7.30am. When I asked one of the clerks, they told me that the library will be opened at 9.30am. Can you believe that? That means I have to spend another 2 more miserable hours outside the library. I decided to walk around a bit and explore the place. I was jumping in joy to find some benches around there. I sat there a while and started writing down my list of ‘things to do’. Then, I left the library area and walked further more. I saw two old trains standing very proudly. (Did I mention that the library was situated beside the museum?) Yup, both the trains were historical and were left outside the museum. I took a few pictures of it.

I glanced at my watch and realised that I still had time. My worried dad kept calling to check whether I was alright or kidnapped. I kept saying that I can take care of myself. Suddenly, my stomach started growling and I decided to have breakfast. I walked and walked for what seemed like miles and thanked God for showing me a kopitiam. If I am not mistaken, it was called Uncle K Kopitiam. It was right beside Secret Recipe. I had a ‘nasi lemak’ and ‘milo ais’. The bill came to about 10 ringgit! How I wished that the ‘mamak’ stalls were open!! Argh!! When I made my way to the library, I tripped and almost had a fall on the stairs. I quickly looked around and confirmed that nobody was noticing me. Phew! The city of Shah Alam is so lovely but it has a significant flaw. The stairs there is too steep. I was so scared to climb them. Finally, I reached the library and it was open! Hooray! I entered the library and did some leisure reading. I also searched for journals and newspaper articles for my mini research project.

Time flied so fast. I couldn’t believe my eyes when it was nearly 4.30pm. My dad promised to pick me up at 5.20pm. I wanted to sneak out for a while to SACC Mall to get something for someone. (If you are wondering what SACC MAll might be, it is the Shah Alam City Centre Mall). I rushed out of the library to get my bag and go t the mall. This time I was being very careful with the stairs as I have learned my lesson earlier. I got a phone call from my dad asking me about my whereabouts. I got scolding for leaving the library and I was told to return to the library immediately. I bought my stuffs as fast I could and ran down the elevator. My father was already waiting for me in the library. Oops! (I suppose you know what happened then)

Both of us reached home safe and sound. This is the first time I roamed around alone in Shah Alam. It felt great! I have to admit that Shah Alam is a beautiful city and I love being there. Adlyn, your place rocks! I agree with you! I might be going there tomorrow too..

A Tribute To You

2008-08-19T08:32:00.000-07:00

You made me a strong person
You made me who I am today
I stand tall in front of you
I’m still your darling girl
Who’ll remember the times we had together
Who’ll hold dear those moments close to heart
Every second spent with you
Will be remembered till I die
To you I have to say that
I loved you with all my heart
I’ll give anything to get you back
I just want you to hold me
One last time
Hug me as tightly as you can
I still feel that
You are watching me from on top
Guarding me like an angel
Guiding me in each step that I take
Thanks a million
For everything that you’ve done
Words cannot measure
How much I miss you
You will be remembered forever
Rest in peace dear!

இறைவா!

2008-08-18T04:00:00.000-07:00

உடல் மண்ணுக்கு இந்த உயிர் தமிழுக்கு...

வாழ்வில் சாதனை புரிய உனது அருள் வேண்டும் இறைவா!
உடன் இருக்க வேண்டும்
நான் விழும் போது,
நீ என்னை அரவணைக்க வேண்டும்!
வழி தவறினால்,
நீ என்னை சீர் செய்ய வேண்டும் ஐயனே!
உன்னை என்றும் மறவாத நெஞ்சம் வேண்டும்!
உன்னை நினையாத நாள்-நான் இறக்க வேண்டும்.

Environment

2008-08-18T03:33:00.000-07:00

"Human beings and the natural world are on a collision course. Human activities inflict harsh and often irreversible damage on the environment and on critical resources. If not checked, many of our current practices put at serious risk the future that we wish for human society and the plant and animal kingdoms, and may so alter the living world that it will be unable to sustain life in the manner that we know. Fundamental changes are urgent if we are to avoid the collision our present course will bring about."

I strongly feel that we should stop pointing fingers at other parties and make an effort to make Earth a better place to live in. It can be the slightest move but may trigger monolithic consequences.

A simple measure of reducing plastic and styrofoam is good enough to sustain our environment.
It is indeed sad to note that a handful of masses do not really care about the environment and continue to pollute it.
Awareness alone is not sufficient among us. As an individual, it is wise to ponder and reflect about what can be done to save our environment.

"I am not the only person who is polluting the environment!"
Yes, it is true.

Pause. Think for a moment. Everyone in this world can defend themselves by saying so.

What can we do?

1. Start recycling please!

2. Avoid using plastic and styrofoam

3. Maximise the usage of public transportations

4. Use rechargeable batteries instead of disposable batteries

5. Plant a tree in your neighborhood or near your home

6. Do not waste!

7. Buy organic food (if you can)

8. The list is a never-ending one..

Please be sensible when it comes to our environment. Together we strive to save our environment!

I want to share this!

2008-08-18T03:10:00.000-07:00

"The ocean of Spirit has become the little bubble of my soul. Whether floating in birth, or disappearing in death, in the ocean of cosmic awareness, the bubble of my life cannot die. I am indestructable consciousness, protected in the bosom of Spirit's immortality."

-Bhagavad Gita

Death

2008-08-16T08:21:00.000-07:00

I didn't know that death can be so miserable. People tell me that "If there's Birth then there's Death too"
I know that very well. Its the Law of Life! Why is it so difficult for me to accept death? Why can't I just move on like others do? I blame myself and wallow in my sorrows forever. I can't talk to anyone. I just don't feel the need to talk with someone. I want to run away. Far from everyone. I hate God when he takes away lives. Why can't he take away the murderers, rapists, drug abusers, traitors?
I pray and ask Him reasons; I demand an answer from Him.
He said to me silently that "everything happens for a reason and I will realise it very soon"

My First Post!

2008-08-16T07:38:00.000-07:00

Hello everybody!

This is my very first post on this blog. I do not have any specific reasons to start my own blog. I just felt like having it. I don't have much to say today. I'm at home now, the place where I really belong. I reached home today morning and I'm still a bit jet-lagged. You might be wondering why would I say that. I am studying in a different state which is 7 hours away from my home. Finally I feel very contented to be back at home with my family. Currently I am having a one-week mid semester break. How I wish that this week will last for a lifetime!